I’ve been surprised to find this attitude is alive and well despite going out of style after the middle ages. You see it in rap videos all the time. I once was poor —-> I’m a good Christian ——> Now I have a million dollar recording contract ——-> God is responsible for everything ——-> God bought me my Lexus. How can you argue with that logic? Of course, then the converse has to be true, too: God is starving those children in Africa and he also burned down your house/killed your family/otherhorriblething. WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?!

/rant
…

In other news, I’m glad you’re finally recording. I’m new at this, too, so keep me updated!

eb pointed me at your new post. I don’t want a house right now either. I want to spend all my money on my education. People don’t get that. Well, I’m a different kind of 30-almost 31- year old.
Your post reminds me of a conversation I had with my dentist this week. He was a musician for years before becoming a dentist, and didn’t get married or settle down until he was 47 because he traveled so much and couldn’t make a commitment to anyone. Now, married and settled, he is very happy but also happy that he had his musician years, of which he speaks nostalgically and fondly. I can see you being a bit like him.
I wish I hadn’t settled down so early, but having got out of that commitment, I don’t plan to do it again for many years, if at all.

You should think of everything like that.

I’m going to have the hubby install software on my laptop that blocks certain web surfings during certain hours of the day. No. More. Hulu. Seriously it is a time and energy suck. The truth is we are consumers and with infinite credit or infinite access to information we will just keep absorbing stuff. Hulu and other web stuff like facebook and chat clients are just like a bad loan to me. They are a trap and cost so much more than their face value. In time, the rate adjusts and I’m screwed. And I am the NINJA only instead of no income no job or assets, I have Better Things To Do. But my better things to do require investment (time reading/at second job) they aren’t as accessible. They’re harder.

I’m not as disciplined at this as I’d like to be. I am really struggling with distraction lately. Not only by things but also by my own state of discomfort. But if I showed up at BeachCamp, car full of overpackings, totally unprepared for this thing would I give up? Say, “Screw it. This camping thing was supposed to
be easy and comfortable?”

It feels like I’m not prepared. I don’t have total control. I’m incapable of behavioral change in a blog post (despite my recent resolutions). I procrastinate and distract. But here I am.

It’s time for me to commit and get on that last ferry to the
island.

I apologize for the long rambling response. Difficult being concise at 2am. But maybe getting it out of my head will let me sleep.

Habitizing. Good.

So glad you are well, looking forward to more posts (maybe?). Enjoy the woods. I still miss scenic drives in NC twelve years after leaving the state. The woods there are magical.